Never Bragging, Just Confident.



Been feeling some type of way lately… a very unfamiliar type of way that I’m hella determined to pinpoint and overthrow.♥️

“Be humble” is a statement I’ve long found to be sexy, somewhat. I think it’s a description we all unconsciously strive to stand beside.

My session with my recovery coach yesterday led me to an uncomfortably foreign place…

I was talking to her about a rad AF achievement I landed on this week and I expressed to her that she was the only person I celebrated this with…

…Even as I told her what was happening in real-time, I caught myself dimming TF outta my shine because I felt like I was bragging, & a plus essays is it safe to buy essays online here do my college paper for me an easy essay examples comparison essay https://recyclesmartma.org/physician/cialis-winchester/91/ http://mechajournal.com/alumni/buy-an-cheap-essay-online-free/12/ follow link go site essay about community service project exemplification essay topics http://snowdropfoundation.org/papers/top-assignment-proofreading-site/12/ generic viagras mexico https://aspirebhdd.org/health/viagra-induced-anuerysm/12/ go to link http://teacherswithoutborders.org/teach/how-to-write-essay-for-college-application/21/ leadership experience essay consumer reports best buy sewing machine how to make a job cover letter ut quest homework services it dissertation ideas philosophy of nursing essay supreme court case study 1 case analysis questions viagra direct formal vs informal essay watch source video resume pricing topics in research paper https://www.sojournercenter.org/finals/listening-essay/85/ enter bragging just ain’t cute.

Okay, so maybe I am losing on soooo many levels… buuuut, I’m also winning on soooo many others… & my celebration with self is the only kind… and it’s a weak kind at that.

She asked me if I was okay with the hesitant celebration inside of me… girl got me thinking deep now. We dove into this further, and she asked me to say a few simple corrected words…

“I’m not bragging, but rather celebrating something exciting with the people who love me & want me to win.”

As I half ass repeated this statement back to her, it felt physically difficult to push the air forming words from my lungs…. “but why?” I asked.

She very calmly says, “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Is this really about staying humble or is it about not feeling worthy of their love??? Is it because I feel badly for growing somewhere they’re not comfortable loving me??? Or is it a protective thing they’re laying on me because they think I’m crazy and going to let myself down???

Whatever their reasons may be, I have no control over any of it EXCEPT for my reaction to all of it. My true gut reaction.

So my action steps till our next session will go as so…

I’m digging… I’m writing… I’m researching and studying, and I’m unapologetically asking to learn my way through this self sabotage storm of strangeness…

Doing all of this with not a single shred of doubt in knowing, I will prevail.

My wise coach AKA my bestie, vowed to spend all week correcting TF out of my powerful word choice of bragging, to a more sensible choice called confident.

She then asked me to affirm aloud, “I’m never bragging, just confident.”

I can say it all day long, but believing it is a completely different story. Before affirming, let me run this down in my brain again, with a short confirmation letter about me and my ex addict.

Okay so maybe I am losing here and there as an EX-drug addict…

…An ex addict at 34 years young with 3 children living in her mother’s spare room…

…An ex addict who’s halfway separated & halfway home going back and forth juggling her self worth…

…An ex addict dangerously dancing on the very EDGE of her capabilities…

But more often than not, I feel like I’m still deeply winning….

I AM an EX addict in active recovery with a fiery passion in her soul that has given her flame fired wings to fly…

…An ex addict blessed enough to have all 3 of her babies beside her with a big beautiful roof over their heads…

…An ex addict who’s working her ass off to finally balance her self worth enough to reteach her lover how to fall in love with the new her and leave the old her behind in the pile of dust where she belongs.

…An ex addict who is more than excited to continue on and not only dangerously dance, but advance to beautifully balancing those same capabilities, while breathing them full of painfully-loving-purpose.

These are absolutely reasons to celebrate. If I were advising one of my people, I would force them to celebrate these small shifts of gratitude. So I’m doing the same for myself.

If you too find yourself afraid to advance your level out of fear that leaving them behind will cause a rift, instead I challenge you to face these rifts WITH your loved one’s and hold tight to the faith in knowing that the one’s worth fighting for will fight their way through any rift, however large it may be. 🖤


Pain To Purpose
08/12/15
🖤

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *